week 32

it's a happy one

okay time for me to talk about how i am my perfect darling coeval’s final form, as i promised. because he is a compassionate exotic bird, this is exceedingly surprising to me and i imagine everyone else but! it is also true. this is because i like ““““films””””, particularly it’s because they rarely feature even one space laser battle. i love dry humor, even though i often don’t catch it when it’s directed toward me due to being extremely credulous. i’m also much better than him at doing taxes and looking at my email and answering texts. and!!! i LOVE vegetables and don’t really like to drink or smoke. pepsi is my main vice and i aspire to cut it out because it’s sooooooooo bad for you. other than that i’m mostly free of desire. one could even call me a bodhisattva. one would be incorrect but one has.

i think one time someone described a date with me as a 97/100 because “there should always be room for improvement” or something like that. looking at the above paragraph, i guess i’ve hit the 97/100 target for my 20s. like i’ve achieved enlightenment basically, so it’s an A+ but i still need to get abs, stop drinking pepsi, do more traveling, and go to grad school so it’s not a 100. that’s what my 30s, 40s, 50s, etc. ad infinitum because i will live forever are for.

i have a perfect life. i did see another rat today. i also saw one the other day outside in broad daylight while walking to the grocery store for cream puffs and salt and vinegar almonds. one of our neighbors has a pet chicken, i guess. i was looking at it and at the far end of the same yard, there was a rat just taking a leisurely stroll. it was cute, i think it should be named Jacqueline. like, i can be down with rats if they’re far enough away and it’s also daytime, preferably. i’m trying to get okay with all the other times i might see rats because it builds character and again, there should always be room for improvement so actually it adds to my perfect life.

see you next week for the next installment of my perfect life, i’ll probably say more about what i do or don’t want.

• Day 1 (of this week): Dracula - JENNIE Remix by Tame Impala and JENNIE

• Day 2: i forgot to pick a song

• Day 3: Casual by Chappell Roan

• Day 4: Just the Way You Are by Milky

• Day 5: Heaven or Las Vegas by Cocteau Twins

• Day 6: Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous by Good Charlotte

• Day 7: Shake It to the Max (Fly) by MOLIY and Silent Addy

• I’m Reading: Beloved by Toni Morrison (with an introduction by Honorée Fanonne Jeffers)

  • it’s an audiobook and it’s read by Morrison herself and she has an unbelievable voice. like it’s so gentle and open, i don’t know how to describe it, but it’s amazing. and i guess you’d expect the author to know how the dialogue should be delivered, but i don’t think you’d expect her to necessarily have this kind of voice-acting talent.

  • i’m also thinking that maybe i should have skipped the intro until after. i was excited to hear what Jeffers wrote, but i haven’t read the book before and it revealed most of the plot. i don’t think “spoiler” is the right word for this kind of serious, real work, but i am wondering if i would have known the things that are a mystery to the characters at this point in the novel and how that would have shaped my experience of the novel.

• I’m Watching: Hunger Games movies

  • still

• I made/ate: salt and vinegar almonds, french fries, cream puffs, we’re doing barley still so adobo with barley, twin snakes, a milkshake

• Here’s how happy I am: 7.35/10

• weekly monthly check in: am i okay?

• here’s some things i want to do before i turn thirty (maybe!!):

  • dye my hair blonde

    • finally got to the point of asking my brother to do it, but he said he fears my hair is too long for him to do it without damaging it. broken heart emoji

  • read Portnoy’s Complaint

  • read Infinite Jest

  • read Man’s Search for Meaning

  • get a nose ring

  • cook at least two recipes in Russian

  • see the Milky Way ✓

  • see the Northern Lights ✓

  • ride a flamingo paddle boat

  • get abs

  • visit SIL ✓

  • visit everyone

• here’s some things i want to do ever

  • see whales

  • do the Barklay Marathons

  • hike the Camino de Santiago

  • learn to fish, take care of clothes, go camping, bake, cook, sew, speak a third language with a third alphabet, get a PhD, garden, make fruit preserves, make all manner of pickles, hunt for mushrooms and recognize which ones would kill me, knit, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.